How Parents Can Make Giving a Part of Back-to-School Shopping

The other day I was brainstorming a "Green Parenting" column idea with my teenage sister, Karalyn. I told her I wanted to write about eco-friendly ways for kids to go back-to-school shopping and asked how I should address the whole "the-stuff-I-have-makes-me-cool," thing. That is to say, the penultimate teenage dilemma.

I know and empathize because as a teenager, I was pretty much convinced by my peers and society at large that my stuff defined me as a person. High schools across America are ruthless places where the brand of your jeans, the style of your hair and the make of your car mean everything. Indeed, they supposedly define you as a person, so much so that missing the "cool" train as a freshman can have dire social consequences over the course of one's four years in high school.

So I wanted to find out from my sister how exactly I could realistically approach a column encouraging parents to encourage their kids to buy less stuff. The eco-friendly aspect of this, of course, is the huge environmental toll involved in creating and shipping all those new shoes, shirts, backpacks and the thousands of other items kids tell their parents they absolutely need for school.

Karalyn, who's going to be a junior this fall, said that it could be a good idea to point out that the designer clothes kids need to make them look cool in school are often made by children in developing countries.

I think that's a great point for parents to make--if not for the sake of those children who can't go to school because they're toiling away in a factory halfway around the world to help their family make ends meet--then for the sake of your own wallet. Indeed, stocking your teenager's closet with designer clothes could rack up a pretty big credit card bill!

It can be tough for parents to convince kids that small choices can make a difference in other peoples' lives, but then again, we all know that children, even teenagers, learn from what they see around them.

So it's definitely a good idea for parents to show kids how making small changes to one's habits can make a big change in the world.

For example, if you're going back-to-school shopping with your teen, you could suggest going to a consignment shop first, picking out a couple of nice used items for yourself, and then making a second stop to fill out each of your wardrobes with a couple of new pieces.

You can tell your teen that making that compromise helped in a small, yet significant way, to decrease the human and environmental toll that would have been increased by buying a whole new wardrobe.

When I asked Karalyn what she thought about teens donating one of their old clothing items for each one that they buy, she thought it was a great idea. There are many charitable organizations in the area--like the United Way, the Westchester Coalition for the Homeless and Hungry, and Big Brothers Big Sisters--that would take a bag of your teen's gently used clothes and give them to other teenagers who are less fortunate.

When parents talk with teens about making charity as big a part of their back-to-school experience as shopping, the topic can help kids see that there's a world outside of themselves and the often self-conscious high school experience.

Since I don't frequent the mall very often, Karalyn told me that there are some stores that are making charity a part of their sales. She said that Finish Line is running a program through the end of August called Sole Destination.

For every pair of shoes that you donate to people who need them, they give you a $5 coupon. It's a win for everyone involved: You get a new pair of sneakers at a discount, someone who doesn't have any shoes gets a pair that might otherwise spend hundreds of years decomposing in a landfill.

So while it may be unrealistic to expect a teenager to succumb to the thought of not buying anything new for the upcoming school year, making some small changes in the way that your family thinks and shops can, collectively, make a big (and totally cool) difference!