If you can relate to the problem of fatigue, (which was on my recent blog post), due to having a Super Woman Complex, then Continue Reading.
I thought I had released the idea of being all things to all people long ago. However, I learned in February that being Super Woman, Super Wife, Super Mom, Super....(you name it and we can add it on)...was still one of my big issues.
As a Holistic RN, Energy Medicine Practitioner, Health/Life Coach, I handled this issue of exhaustion in the way that I would recommend to any of my clients. As I mentioned in my last post, I made an appointment with my doctor and had some blood tests taken.
Once the tests showed that my DHEA level and Vitamin B12 were quite low, I started taking the supplements my doctor recommended. While waiting for the supplements to kick in, I knew there was internal work to be done in order for me to really heal.
Having said that, the important questions that I would ask my clients to consider were ones that I now had to ponder. So while I was in a prone position in my bedroom I gave careful consideration to the following questions:
Who am I? What am I capable of? What is important to me? What are my priorities? What are my expectations of myself? What legacy do I want to teach and leave to my children? What contributed to my recent issues with my health? What beliefs do I hold that may be 'false' and not 'true' to my essential self?
I reflected on my current life as well as my earlier life, in order to discover answers to these questions. The excavating and meditating was done both consciously and before going to sleep. Intention setting and meditating before sleeping can sometimes help reveal answers to questions in the form of dreams or symbols. Or occasionally one might awaken from sleep with an Ah Ha, as the subconsious mind, in all its wisdom, shared the essential TRUTH that you had been seeking while asleep.
I recognized that the seed of being a Super Woman was planted while I was young. My mother was a talented but sickly woman when I was a child and spent many years in bed struggling with endometriosis, which caused her much pain. Once she recovered, after many surgical procedures and medications, despite her talents and skills for writing and drawing, she remained a housewife. I never could understand it and tried to encourage her to develop her talents. But she refrained. It was not until her illness and passing in 2008, that I came to terms with who she was and what she wanted for her own life.
While I felt that she 'should' have developed herself and strive to use her talents, she had other ideas for herself. She was happy being a housewife and home for her children and then grandchildren. That was what gave her pleasure. In other words, that was her Dharma...no more, no less. She never felt that she had to be more than who she was...did not have to prove anything to anyone, not to herself and not to me. I finally recognized and saw her so clearly after her passing. She was TRUE to herself. That to me, is a wonderful inspiration! And that is what I seek to do for myself.
What did I learn? I have two Dharmas, one being a holistic healing practitioner and writer; and the other being a mother/wife. (Now was that 2 dharmas or 4?) And in case you are not sure, Dharma is the Ayurvedic (Indian) term for path or a calling. Both or all of them are equally important to me.
Since I started with a family in my mid-thirties, considered 'old' by western medical standards, my first major Dharma was all about creation, nurturing, child-rearing, and obviously- mothering.
While pregnant, I took a leave of my career as an operating room nurse, never to return. Instead, I held consciousness raising groups for women while I was pregnant and living in Manhattan. We did EST-type work together (1994), in order to let go of our 'racket' or baggage. I blossomed during my pregnancy becoming extraordinarily large in physical size and in spirit. My creativity burst forth in my writing and painting, even going so far as to paint myself painting myself with my glorious belly and glowing complexion. Glowing complexions during pregnancy, I was convinced were because there were two souls contained within one body, that of your own and that of your developing baby.
It is interesting to me, that much of my personal journey seems to be mirrored by my clients. I guess that is because all women in many ways, no matter their culture, are connected. Our biological ability to gestate, and give birth, is not only for baby-making, but for our own true purpose in being here and feeling like we are productive members of society.
In my experience in the medical and holistic world, it has often seemed to me, that often, one chooses a professional calling based upon a trauma that needs healing. If you are interested in learning about why I went into the field of nursing and then left that behind in pursuit of practicing holistic healing, you might want to check out my very first article with RyePatch entitled, "Why Holistic Health?", which is in the Opinion section under my name.
Hence due to a difficult first birth and traumatic post-partum period with my son (perhaps another story), I pursued a course of study including, childbirth education, perinatal counseling, and hypnotherapy even as I stayed at home taking care of my baby, changing diapers, stroller exercise, and cooking sumptious meals for hubby. Perhaps you might say that with the birth of my son, I birthed myself into Super Woman.
Stay tuned if you are interested in learning how the deepening of this Super Woman Complex continues.