I confess. As a child, I was bullied on a fairly regular basis—sometimes physically, but usually a verbal attack—because I was always the “new kid.” My dad was a salesman and we relocated to where the work was. It wasn’t unusual for us to move on a yearly, sometimes bi-yearly, basis. Clearly, I was an easy target. But thanks to my family, and a few loyal friends, I survived pretty well. Personally, I try to use my life experiences as character builders, but I must admit that if I had the choice I would have skipped more than a few of them. They were quite painful, emotionally if not always …

More than a few times, people with adult children have casually said to me, “You have no idea how grateful I am that my children are grown!” When they hear the stories of suicides and shootings, they feel that all too familiar pang of parenthood, followed by overwhelming relief. I have to say, I’m actually a little jealous of those moms and dads out there with kids about to graduate college. Every day, as my children get older, my husband and I are faced with new parenting challenges—some we knew were coming and some completely unexpected. Over the past year or two, I was introduced to the …

Every day we send our kids to school with the hope they’ll be safe and treated well. Sometimes that’s not possible, as I found out firsthand when my son was in elementary school. Only the parent whose child has endured bullying behavior knows how unbearable it is to watch. In March of last year, I posted an article for this column called “The Definition of Bully Proof.” The goal was to provide tips I developed while helping my own son who was being bullied thrive despite the experience. I based my points on the experiences I had while parenting my son through the process. And I’m happy to say…

I’ve included a new element in my “I’ve Got Character” workshops as of late—a quick tutorial on the difference between fact and fiction. As a screenwriter, I create characters with conflicts that help move the story forward—to convey a message of some sort. Usually, the conflict in question requires both a good guy and a bad guy. When I write scripts with kids in mind, the characters with less than perfect behavior provide a prime example of what not to do. I try and make the consequences of bad choices obvious. I look at it as an opportunity to get the audience thinking, while still being …

Life isn’t about what happens to you, it’s about how you respond to what happens to you. That’s what I’ve always told my kids. The concept became especially relevant when my son was being bullied. We’d gone through the various emotions a family encounters when raising a bullied child—denial, disbelief, anger, frustration and, finally, acceptance. We reported every incident respectfully and tried everything to get the other children to stop—with little success, at first. It was then we realized that we had to do whatever it took to help our son build the confidence and self-esteem he needed to…

When I first heard the term “zero tolerance” it was presented to me as a policy put in place to help kids, like my son, who were being bullied. I guess it sounded good at the time—it seemed school administrators were as outraged by the actions of a few select students as I was. But I soon came to view it as more of a problem than a solution. Over the years, some administrators have proudly told me their school followed a “zero tolerance policy.” They boasted that if bullying was reported, or an “incident” took place, they would take it very seriously. Again, it sounded good at the time. But …

The goal of every workshop I give is simply to plant seeds—to get children to think before they take action. I make it a point not to tell them what to think, but I do hope to inspire an understanding that every choice we make creates who we are and carves out our path. I ask endless questions. Have you ever felt left out? Bullied? Have you ever accidently, or on purpose, bullied others? I make sure to include the teachers so kids can see them raise their hands—hoping students will feel more open to imperfection and take responsibility for their own mistakes if they see adults admit to their …

In an ideal world, there should be no such thing as bullying. A child would be so supported and positive they would never feel the kind of hopelessness that causes anyone to take their own life. Unfortunately, we don't live in an ideal world. If we did, the parents of Phillip Parker, a student at Gordonsville High School, TN, would have spent past weeks planning his future instead of his funeral. On occasion, this column has inspired opposing commentary that expressed a “kids will be kids” attitude. Some have shared stories of bullying when they were kids and how it made everybody stronger. …

Most of us, at one time or another, have heard the phrase, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” I’m not sure where it originated, but it’s usually a good rule to follow. Despite that fact, gossiping lives on. Actually, it’s been around forever. Throughout my childhood, I remember dealing with the drama of rumor and innuendo. Someone would say something about somebody and things would escalate until that someone got in trouble or the next hot topic took its place. On occasion, I was that topic. But the world was smaller then, and once I left school grounds I …

If your child is being bullied, you know it’s not always easy to get them to open up and share their feelings. I remember, very well, just how tricky it could be.That’s why I created activities like Framing Your Life, Piece of the Pie and How I See Myself Now (from I’ve Got Plans: A kid’s activity book for a fun-filled future). All of these exercises are designed to help children express even the most difficult emotions, like anxiety, embarrassment, sadness or anger. I’ll never forget one day in particular when my daughter was getting frustrated with me because she couldn’t communicate …

The other day my daughter and I were talking about the start of school. She shared with me all of her concerns about going into fifth grade. Last year was a real challenge for her, as “the new kid.” Although we were able to resolve the situation, she experienced some bullying, and in the past few weeks, she’s showed concern about a possible reoccurance. As she shared her fears, she became more and more upset. Her mind had created a scary scenario about what might happen. She was so focused on it that she couldn’t think about anything else. She was resistant to any solutions and frustrated …

Once a family has spent time helping a child survive bullying, it can be difficult for everybody to make the transition into the final phase of “moving on.” Once bitten, twice shy. But I can’t tell you how important it was for my son to embrace the fact he’d gotten past it. I wanted him to feel confident and hopeful about the future and allow the experience to make him stronger as he moved forward. That wasn’t easy to achieve. It took patience and a positive attitude. I do an exercise with both my kids called “I’ve Been Framed” that encourages perspective during difficult times. I feel that …